if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Randomize
