so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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