with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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