haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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