So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
