well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
