the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
