check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
