Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
