the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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