I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
