I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize