I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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