I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
