I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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