cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
