Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
