you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
