I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
