Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
