So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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