dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
