make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
