dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
