Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
