My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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