You're so nebulous sometimes
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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