"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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