You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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