CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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