ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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