i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize