this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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