it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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