Nicole vs. Life
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
