I want to have your abortion
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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