Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
