there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
