toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
