I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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