The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
