We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your penis caused this!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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