These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
