opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize