I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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