So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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