U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
