so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Who died my cat blue again?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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