...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my poor anus
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
