This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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