k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Randomize