If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
