I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
