Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
A bitchslap is in order.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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