You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
