My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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